Creating Meaningful Connections with Kathy Kasten - The Content Experiment
relationships, team building, interpersonal communication

Creating Meaningful Connections with Kathy Kasten

You’ve heard me say it before—you can’t do your business journey alone. But how do you create meaningful, genuine, and authentic connections from a 20-minute Zoom call? Don’t worry, it is still possible.

Today, I’m chatting with Kathy Kasten, an executive coach and trainer and CEO of Lion Crest Leadership about all things connection–and how to navigate true connection online.

We touch on communicating with people from different backgrounds, making your team feel truly like a team, avoiding common mistakes some business owners make when trying to connect with others, and strategically choosing who you connect with to better your business.

Listen in!

Mentioned in This Episode

About Kathy Kasten

Kathy Kasten is the CEO and Founder of Lion Crest Leadership. With a background in both small business ownership and corporate management, Kathy is an executive coach who helps her clients clarify their gifts, walk through overwhelm, recharge for the people they care about, and learn to connect more deeply with others for better relationships and results.

To learn more about Kathy visit her website, or follow her on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn.


Abby Herman 0:08
Hey there, and welcome to Episode 119 of The Content Experiment Podcast, a podcast that supports the idea that content and marketing are ever moving targets in any business. And it’s okay if you don’t feel like you’re doing it. All right all of the time, you have permission to experiment with little tweaks and changes in your content, to find what works for you, what increases value for your audience and what grows your business, and most importantly, what feels good for you. I’m Abby Herman, content strategist and coach for online business owners who are ready to make a bigger impact online. I firmly believe that success isn’t about what big marketing brands and so called gurus think is the right thing. It’s about you and your business, your lifestyle, and, frankly, your values and belief systems. You get to do business in a way that works for you. If you’re new to the podcast, thanks so much for stopping by. I am really happy to have you and I think you’ll find this podcast to be full of no nonsense support, to help inspire you to get your message out there and give you the actionable steps you need to make it happen. If you like what you hear, hit the subscribe button so you don’t miss another episode. And if you’ve been listening for a while, thank you so much for sticking around. If you like what you’re hearing, I would so appreciate it. If you would pay it forward, would you take just a couple of minutes and go to your podcast app right now.

Abby Herman 1:35
To leave this podcast a five star rating and review, you can probably get it done. While you’re listening to this intro ratings and reviews are what helps help Apple Spotify, Stitcher and all the other platforms and to me that you like what you’re hearing, and it helps to get the podcast into more earbuds, so others can benefit from the information I’m throwing down on a regular basis. Today’s episode is brought to you by content mastery lab, a membership community that supports business owners, by helping you through identifying the right content to create for your audience, from market research to ideation to creation, iteration, and publication. It offers support feedback, community accountability, and so much more than because you can’t just sit down and decide that you’re going to create content for your business, you need to have a plan and you need space to tweak and adjust that plan when needed. And sometimes it takes a little bit of time to get there, you try out a few things to see if it works. See how your audience relapse reacts. And then you can tweak and change it. And that means that you are experimenting with your content, rather than creating an entire overhaul of your content strategy feels so much better to experiment with little changes along the way. And that’s exactly what we do inside of content mastery lab, my membership community, stop floundering with trying to figure it all out yourself and start creating content with the confidence that you’re on the right path. Join us monthly or quarterly or commit to a whole year for extra one on one time with me and quarterly planning parties where we work through your content together in an intimate group, head to the content experiment, comm slash lab for more information and to sign up and use the coupon code podcast to try out your first month for $1.

Abby Herman 3:32
Today, we’re talking about meaningful connections in business, why they’re so important and how to nurture them in a way that helps you grow your business. And that creates a lasting relationship. I’m chatting with Kathy caston, an executive coach and trainer and CEO of lion crest leadership, Kathy and I talk all things connection and how to navigate true connection online. We touch on communicating with people from different backgrounds, how to make your team feel truly like a team, how to avoid some of the mistakes that some business owners make when trying to connect with others and how to strategically choose those who you connect with. Now before we get into the interview, let me tell you a little bit about Kathy. Kathy caston is the CEO and founder of lion crust leadership with a background in both small business ownership and corporate management. Kathy is an executive coach, keynote speaker, trainer and best-selling author specializing in areas of leadership legacy team building, and effective communication. She helps high-achieving Christian professionals and entrepreneurs clarify their gifts and natural style styles. Walkthrough overwhelm and the ooh shiny syndrome. Find to focus rest and recharge for the people and things they care about. And learn to connect more deeply with others for better relationships and results. So without further ado, here is my conversation with Kathy Kasten.

Abby Herman 5:06
Hi, Kathy, thank you so much for joining me today.

Kathy Kasten 5:10
Hi, Abby, I’m excited to be here.

Abby Herman 5:12
I am, too. I am. I am, too. So, um, I would love for you to start by just sharing with the audience who you are and what you do and who you do it for.

Kathy Kasten 5:22
Okay, so I am the CEO and founder of Lion Crest Leadership. And I love to work with Christian professionals and entrepreneurs and really help them to clarify their goals and gifts, help them walk through the overwhelm, help them find rest and energy. And one of the big pieces I love to serve on is helping them to have conversations that are deep and meaningful with the people that they want to connect within their businesses. So those are all part of what I do. I jokingly call myself the corporate alpaca ice cream lady, because I’ve had a crazy adventure and a lot of business of leadership background and all of that. And so it’s given me some really fun perspectives from the corporate side and from the business side.

Abby Herman 6:05
Mm-hmm. That’s interesting. I love that. And I love the conversations that are deep and meaningful, we’re definitely going to talk about that. Before we really dig in, though, can you share with everyone how the way you work with your clients, and how the way that your business is structured helps you to live the lifestyle that you want?

Kathy Kasten 6:27
Sure. So I love to help people find their deep gifts, the things I believe we were created with gifts. And so helping them to find those gifts and really shine, we all need to have the gifts of people around us. And I believe we’re all here for a time and a place because we’re the right person to fill it. And so being able to help everyone step into that moment, and shine with those beautiful gifts that they have, and helps all of us. And so that’s a big part of what I do. I do coaching, and team training, sometimes I do keynote speaking, I may do some other types of online coursework with people, but all of it is really centered on helping them to really shine where they are, at whatever level they’re at. And take that to a whole different place of reaching the people they want to serve.

Abby Herman 7:18
And how does that structure of the way you work with your clients help you in your own lifestyle and how you live?

Kathy Kasten 7:27
They tell you it allows It’s so wonderful to talk to clients, I think them often for opening up their lives and hearts and sharing the journeys they’re on. Because they’re being very real and open. And it gives me a chance not only to serve them but also to learn from my own life. And take that and then serve other people that I interact with. So really, it’s kind of like a big circle where we’re all helping each other to grow. And I love being able to live out making a difference in people’s lives. I’m a big believer in legacy. So one of the things that I talk about all the time is legacy is how you live given to love one step at a time, one day at a time. No, anyway that I can help people to live those legacy moments to really make a difference every single day and have a fulfilled life every day in the journey, especially as a business owner, that just makes me warm and fuzzy and happy inside. So that’s part of the joy of doing this business for me.

Abby Herman 8:26
That’s so nice. So I even I met in a networking group that we’re both in, we both recently joined, actually. And I wanted to have you on the podcast because of something that you said in one of our meetings You said you talked about and I don’t have the exact quote of exactly what you said. But you talked about meaningful connections and the value that these connections have in your business growth in general. So and that’s specifically what I want to talk about today is connections as a leader, so connections with your teams, with collaborators with networking partners, can you share a little bit about what connection means for you? And how the importance of it in your organization? Whether you’re a solopreneur? Or you’re, you know, the owner of a consultancy agency, or what have you?

Kathy Kasten 9:20
Sure. The thing that I would say about connections, and this is gonna sound a little warm and fuzzy. Again, I think it’s about the heart. To me, at the end of the day, when we have a business of any kind, the whole reason that I believe we should be doing it is that we want to make someone else’s life better with a product we have with the service we have. And in order to do that we really want to be able to connect with the people not only that are within our organizations, but also those that we’re trying to reach out in touch with the product or service we have. So learning how to have conversations that say I really care about you, rather than let me tell you all about me and why you should buy my product or service. I think that’s a big mistake that a lot of times we make when we’re starting in a business is thinking that we have to be all the things to all the people and show them this amazingness. And I would suggest that for every person we serve, we’re trying to change their lives. If we don’t explain to them how what we have can make their life better, then they’re never going to have the conversation with us to even learn about the product or service that we sell. So that we can dig deeper and make a bigger impact.

Kathy Kasten 10:40
So as an example, when we own the ice cream parlor, my husband and I, sold ice cream as our primary product. And it was great ice cream. But he didn’t spend a lot of time talking about the marketing of the ice cream. I talked about serving up memories, one smile at a time. Because that was really the essence of what we were trying to do with the ice cream parlor. And then in discussions about the kinds of ice cream and other things that we serve, that was a secondary piece. So I guess that’s what I would say to start is it’s really about the heart and connecting with the people who are out there. And for those who are listening to that think, I’m not thinking about the results in this. When you love people at a deep level and show them you care about their well-being you will have the profitability and the team that is going to take you to a whole different level if it’s genuine and sincere. So as an example, again, with the ice cream parlor, when I own that, we had a crack team of a fantastic team, when everyone else in our area was trying to find people to hire, I didn’t have to post for hiring ever. Because the team members would bring people to me and other people in the community would say we’d love to work there have we know somebody who would love to work there. So it improved, my team improved my stress levels, because I wasn’t out there trying to find team members, like a lot of the other businesses in the area where it was just a real gift to be able to do that. And our customers were so loyal, and they would bring other people in because of the experience they had with the business. So I think that’s really powerful.

Abby Herman 12:19
It is. And I think too, what’s so important is so not only does the profit come when you start to care about people, but the fun in the business, the joy in doing what you’re doing. I guess it was when I first started. So I started my business in 2007. And then I went full-time in 2013. And I’ll be honest, especially when I went full time, it was about the money it was about, I need to survive, I need to be able to survive. And there wasn’t a lot of joy in my business because it was about, alright, I’m going to do the work to make the paycheck to get the paycheck. And I didn’t love what I was doing. It was when I started looking at clients as human beings versus the check that things really changed for me both in my business, you know, I was more profitable. I loved what I was doing so much more. And yeah, it’s just you know, and I know that there’s a season for you have to make the money. But the sooner I think the sooner you can get out of that. And the sooner you can get into those meaningful connections with the people you’re working with, with the people who are buying your products and services that the better off, you’ll be.

Kathy Kasten 13:43
Yes, and you know, one of the things I would say so I don’t believe in taking on huge amounts of debt when you first start a business because that puts you in that mindset right away of I need to make money and takes you out of the mindset of trying to serve. But anything that you can do even in those early stages to really open up the conversations even with your team, if you have a team of employees and your small business, getting that group cohesive and really feeling valued, is so important to the success of your business. Because you can be great. Let’s say that a customer comes in and you’re wonderful with them and you have this interaction and they’re so happy but your team is really crabby. And you know just their infighting behind you or whatever in this situation. It can just derail everything you’re trying to build. So there are really several pieces. One you have to be very comfortable that what you’re doing is something you love and are passionate about. Then you have to be willing to put in the hard work to really maximize your team’s joy in the process and also maximize the customers’ process and interaction with you. If you only are a solopreneur it still is going to Make a difference how you interact with vendors and how you interact with other IE, let’s say you’re going to be renting a space, how you interact with, you know, that space rental company, or when you’re purchasing items. One of the things I know about powerful networks is when you are a real kind, authentic person, more opportunities come to you. Mm-hmm. It’s just true. And that’s not to be manipulative. I love to help people that are sincere, and desire to really make a difference, those people will get those rare moments when I have an extra thing that might be available or an extra contact to share. So there’s so much power not only on the money side but in the relationships you build. For what’s possible, it will greatly expand what’s possible, the better you are at connecting deeply with other people.

Abby Herman 15:55
Yeah. So talk to me a little bit about how to make those connections, because I think that, you know, I mean, I work 100% virtually, and I think we’re all working 100% right now, um, and sometimes making those virtual connections are challenging. Sometimes it’s a timezone issue sometimes is just, you know, being brave enough to show up on camera or in a Facebook group and comment on something. Sometimes it’s a cultural challenge like you don’t know how to connect with someone in a different culture than you because maybe you don’t know how to relate. Can you talk a little bit about how we can work around some of those challenges?

Kathy Kasten 16:46
Sure. And I love that you brought this up, I think sometimes people assume that business owners are all extroverts. And I have found that that is not the case. There are an awful lot of outgoing introverts in the world. And so for them, it’s very difficult to do these reach outs. But there are some things in this virtual world we’re in right now, there are some things that we can do even in that space to start to determine because you can’t connect with all the people on the planet. So how do we choose who we connect with, and make sure that those are good, strong connections? For us? There are a few things that I do personally, one of the things that I do is research. If I’m looking for someone to teach me a new skill or to introduce me to a new type of, of people that I haven’t worked with before, maybe they have more knowledge in a certain industry than I have. I’m looking at the things online about them. You know, do I see something on LinkedIn? Do they have an Instagram account, sometimes I will Google somebody’s name and look for news, article, interviews, podcast, interviews, things like that, where I can just take five minutes and really kind of start to grab some snippets to see if I think there’s some possible alignment there. And another thing that I’m looking for in those early stages is what I call common ground. If you can find something that the two of you can connect on.

Kathy Kasten 18:09
So you know, for instance, maybe I’m looking on LinkedIn, and I discovered that somebody has a passion for cats. I don’t know why that would be on there. But if it is, I love cats, too. So that is a place where then we can start to have a conversation, which may not have anything to do with the reason I want to connect, but it starts to say, Hey, we have some shared commonality here. Let’s start with that. So if you’re talking with somebody from another part of the world, maybe it’s a shared level of food, maybe it’s a certain place you both visited, maybe it’s an experience, you know, they maybe they’ve come to the country you’re in or something like that you’re looking for those pieces that can allow you to start to have that conversation. Mm-hmm. That’s one thing I would say. Another thing that I would say is being very intentional about what type of person you’re looking for, for different needs. We’re all wired with certain gifts and skills. Some people are very driven and outgoing. Some people are wonderful, supportive people. Some people are extremely sequential and really good at thinking through the process. Some people are great at making others feel at home. So depending on what kind of skill set you need, at that moment, you may be looking for people that exhibit those different traits to help you. I joke about so in the world that I work on in advanced human behavior studies in the area that’s a bit more of a challenge for me is that outgoing people side I don’t like the limelight. It’s hard for me. So even doing a podcast could be a challenge sometimes. So going out and talking with people that are more comfortable in that world and just saying how do you approach it? What do you think about when you do it, it helps me to start to feel more confident in those areas that are a struggle for me.

Kathy Kasten 19:50
So those are some start places I would say that are maybe a good kicking off point number two and again another thing that I would say too is more Make sure you surround yourself with people who want to grow and learn and be better. Who you surround yourself with is going to have a big impact on how successful you are. And I’m not talking about they don’t have to all be wealthy and on yachts, I’m just talking about do they love to learn? Do they love to connect with people do they have, you know, maybe you do have a friend who has a real gift for business that can teach you some of the things that they’ve learned, I can tell a lot about whether or not someone is going to be successful based on the people they surround themselves with. If you want to spend all of your time in a pool of people that always wish their business was successful, and they’re all crying about, you know, everything that’s not going well, they’re complaining about all their customers, and they don’t like their vendors. And that’s going to become you over time. So really thinking about, you know, limiting those conversations. And it may be that those people are in that space for a season. So I’m not saying they’re always going to be there. But for the time for you to move your business forward, you need to find people who can help you move forward. So it’s time to shift it.

Abby Herman 21:07
Yes. So interestingly enough, right after we get off of this interview, I’m actually recording an episode all about the people who you surround yourself with, and the importance of choosing the right group of people to surround yourself with. So for those of you who are listening, because this will come, this episode will come out after that one. It’s Episode 114 if anyone wants to go back and take a listen, because it really totally aligns with what, with what you just said. And I also want to point out that everything that you talked about, like doing research, finding common ground with the person, knowing, knowing what you need in your business, and the types of people you need around you, sounds very strategic. And I do believe that it is, but when you do the research, when you find that common ground when you are looking for the right people, you can be really authentic with your connections and make and I feel like they happen a lot more, they’re just a lot easier when you have that research ahead of time because we don’t have the, you know, when we’re doing business online, we don’t have the luxury that we had, you know, that we have in person when we’re meeting someone in school, or add like a volunteer activity that we enjoy doing. We don’t have the luxury of having that automatic commonality. And so you kind of have to look for it. To make those connections real, then, don’t you think?

Kathy Kasten 22:43
Yes. And I think it’s okay, you know if you don’t have time, and I’ve certainly had some of those, when you first have the conversation, take a couple of minutes and ask the person you’re talking to questions. We have this tendency to want to dump all the things right away. So there’s no like us and want to talk to us. I think when we ask the questions and really start to, you know, what is your favorite thing about what you do? Why do you do it? Who do you serve, you’ll start to hear little pieces in those answers that can give you some common ground if you haven’t had time to think about it before. And another thing that can happen, let’s say you get on a Zoom call, like Abby, and I’ve just met and we’re going to have this call. I can think about what colors do I see? Do you know what she’s wearing? What kind of jewelry does she have on? How is she speaking? What words is she using? Is it about goals? Is it about people that she wants to talk to as you start to hear that and modify your own language? That isn’t manipulation in my world, if you’re being authentic and real, that’s about saying, I care enough about you that I want to talk to you in a way that makes you feel comfortable. So that we can have a really deep conversation together. I don’t expect you to come to my world and speak in my language I’m going to come to you. And hopefully, that opens up a very different bond between people and gives you a chance to have just a great conversation with them.

Abby Herman 24:10
Yeah, can you talk a little bit more about that, and what that looks like when you are trying to meet the person where they are when you’re trying to use language that is inclusive of you know, the person situation or background or experiences or whatever? What did what does that look like? And how can you do that? from like, and I’m gesturing right here, like, my Xbox around my face, as Cathy’s looking at me on zoom, which nobody else can see. But like, that’s all you can see. So how do you how are you able to do that?

Kathy Kasten 24:47
Well, Boy, that’s a perfect question. I don’t think we have a long enough time. But let’s unpack it a little bit. So One of the things that I work pretty heavily in is something called a disc. And you don’t have to understand what that is. But just think of it as we all live on a globe. And we all have a place we call home. And my daughter and I call that comfy pants place, right the place where you just live that you feel very natural and relaxed. And it’s just your natural wiring. That’s where you live, you can go anywhere on the globe, you want. Most of the time, I know sometimes we have some restrictions, but you can get on a plane and you can fly, you can drive, you can swim, you can whatever, that doesn’t mean you can’t go somewhere else, it just means you’re going to have to pack for the trip. So when I’m going to have a conversation with someone else, I really think about it like going on a trip to where they are to experience as fully as possible where they live. So there are really two questions. And this is a great takeaway for the listeners today. I think that could be really helpful, there are two questions you can ask right away, that will help you to start to figure out where do they live? And how do I have that conversation with them? The first one is, are they fast-paced, or more relaxed, so you can tell that by this speed of their speech, as you can tell, I’m a pretty fast talker. So that puts me in the fast lane. You can tell that by if you happen to see them on a zoom call, you can tell by the expressiveness of the hands of the amount of movement that’s happening, you can tell it by the clothing they’re wearing, typically people that are fast-paced, are going to be more direct, or they’re going to be very vibrant. So you know, if you’re on a zoom call, maybe you’re a very vibrant, an outgoing person is wearing a hat, or they’re wearing big jewelry, or they love the color red, just very bright red. All of those pieces can start to help you to think about Okay, that’s at least a part of where they like to live naturally comfortably.

Kathy Kasten 26:52
The other question you ask once you think about the outgoing versus relaxed or reserved, so I jokingly think of that like a Speed Racer car versus somebody walking, you can tell pretty quickly where people live in that part. The second question is, are they task-based? Or are they people-based? So what do I mean by that everybody loves people, I’m gonna say that right out of the gate task. People love people, it’s just that the way they love people is by the tasks that they’re doing. So they’re reaching a goal, they’re finishing a project, they’re going to make sure that the space shuttle every screw is in the right place so that when it launches, it doesn’t come apart in outer space, right. So they’re loving people, but they’re loving them through the test site, people people, which is about 65% of the world, they’re more about the experience with the person or really supporting the team. So when you’re talking to somebody listening to the words they use, if you have somebody saying I’ve been calculating the cost, most likely their attack side person first, that’s where they’re comfortable. Okay, if they’re saying I can’t wait to have the barbecue right after this meeting with all of my friends outside, that’s a pretty good clue to you that they love the people interaction side, or I’ve got to talk to my team. First, before we have any more discussion. That’s somebody who’s very much people-focused.

Kathy Kasten 28:14
Again, this isn’t manipulation. This is about understanding where their values are, and how you can help them where they are. So I use myself as an example one of my top traits is being an outgoing going task person, which in this world we call driving. So I tell people, I fly at a very fast pace in my airplane across the sky, and I’m 30,000 feet up. If you want to talk to me about whatever it is you have. I need the three three-sentence flyover. And because I’m a goal person, what’s the point? What’s the goal, right? What are we going to get out of it? And once I hear that, if I love what they just said to me, my airplane drops into the airport. And now you can bring me a 500-page report or introduce me to the team or all of that. But if you come in with that report, first, you’re probably going to lose me out of the gate, because I have already flown past you. And that might be too bad for both of us because I might really benefit from this particular product or service. So that’s why I often say to people, it’s imagining going and knocking on someone’s door virtually right now. And they’re cracking it open just a tiny bit with the chain on it. And you’ve got just a few seconds to get them to take the chain off so that the two of you can actually have a conversation at a deeper level to figure out if you really can help each other in a, you know, in a better place. So that’s why I love learning how to talk in these languages. It gets the door open to have the conversations so that we can go deeper faster with each other and have more impact with the people we love.

Abby Herman 29:49
I’m laughing because as you explain the knocking on somebody’s door if they’re knocking on my door, they’ve already lost me I have a sign on my front door that indicates that please just don’t knock on my door. Because whatever it is, I don’t want it.

Kathy Kasten 30:14
Yeah, and think about that every so here’s the thing that’s so that’s why this is so powerful because there might be somebody on the other side of that door who has the thing that could really change your life?

Abby Herman 30:23

Kathy Kasten 30:25
But absolutely, you know, if they knock instead of, you know, I’m not sure maybe weren’t giving away too much to your podcast listeners, but I don’t know. I don’t know if you like texting or if you like postcards, or if you just want to meet them at the park. But if they meet you there, that same product or service has a whole different discussion than if they come and knock on the door, they’ve already lost you. And we, as business owners, have so many of those I knocked, without even checking if they wanted me to knock. And, you know, now it’s over. We even started, we haven’t even had the opportunity, and we’re shaking our head saying what just happened?

Abby Herman 31:03
Yes. And because I mean, it’s, and there are so many different ways that we knock, you know, knock on somebody’s door, we send a cold pitch to their email, we send them something and direct messages. That’s, that’s a hard pitch or, you know, I mean, and there are so many ways that we can do it, that we’ve done it, I mean, I’ve done things before that, I’m sure to have totally turned off someone else. But yeah, it’s like finding out what works for that particular person. And, and also what feels good to you as the person who’s reaching out, I think that’s really important too. But you have to do, like, somehow, it’s like this magic, this magical thing that we have to figure out?

Kathy Kasten 31:47
Well, it’s a beautiful thing, How fun is when two people can connect at a deeper level like that. And it’s a, I value, the people’s time that I interact with. Mm-hmm. And so part of this is, I don’t want to waste someone’s time. Because we’re so busy, and especially business owners, we have, you know, so many hats are trying to wear all at one time. A lot of times, especially for new business owners, you don’t have all the different departments where you could just call them up and say you are the marketer, you are the salesperson, you are then you know, you’re all of those things. So being able to have conversations that open up quickly benefits both people heavily. And one of the other pieces I would say about that, too, is when you’re not sure there are two things I would say one assume that there are people-oriented first because 65% of the population worldwide is people-focused first. So somebody who’s direct, like, you know, as I was giving you the example of one of my higher traits can handle a nice, hello, how are you, it’s so great to see you today. They’re not going to shut off during that.

Kathy Kasten 32:55
But if you come into a people-oriented person, and you say, let me tell you about the 376% return on investment, you’ve already lost them, like you said, they haven’t even gotten to the door. So you can start with the people’s side, very briefly. And then if you need to go into something else that’s more detailed, you can do that as a secondary step. And I think the other thing that we can do as a business owners, sometimes I’ve set up something called discovery calls. And so a lot of times I will spend time just a few minutes someone, one of my goals is always to make sure that the people I interact with leave with something that makes their life better than when they first met me, even if it’s a 15-minute call. So what can I give them as fill the first thought as a business person, in my mind is what can you do for someone else that isn’t going to cost them that isn’t going to be a stretch for them that really does give them something valuable for their life. And then you know, have a deeper conversation. 15 minutes, 30 minutes, especially now with the internet, do a zoom call or some kind of a, you know, even if it’s a FaceTime, or something like that, to really find out if you’re a good fit and to have a chance to ask each other questions and be prepared. Don’t just show up, the minute that you’re going to have the conversation and not have thought about what would we like, if I could ask this person two questions. What would I ask them? It has thought that out even if it’s three minutes before you get on the call and think that out ahead of time so that you are ready to get the most out of the conversation for them as well.

Abby Herman 34:27
Yeah. Yeah, that’s so important. I do that when I have virtual coffee chats. You know, I do exactly what you said at the beginning I do my research I find some common ground I find you know, something that we have in common so that we’re not sitting there with dead air and feeling uncomfortable and trying to like scramble and grapple for questions to ask one another because, yeah, you need to value the other person’s time and you know, figure out a way that the conversation can be mutually beneficial.

Kathy Kasten 35:03
So right. And if you get into one of those moments where you’re stuck, ask them a question. Who does not like to be asked about themselves? I think if we’re honest, everybody likes that. Right? It’s fun to be able to talk about what we do what we love. ask them a question, ask them two or three questions you will find they will open up. If you just ask a few questions to give them a chance, because you’re saying you are, you’re important to me, I want to know you better. Mm-hmm. Who doesn’t love that? Yeah, yeah. If somebody is outside of your comfort zone, as far as maybe you think they’re really far stretch, you know, maybe they’re a lot farther down the road in their journey of whatever it is you want to grow into. And you think, well, it’s almost like they’re a superstar. And I’m afraid to approach them. Just think how it would feel if it’s you being approached if somebody said, I really am awed by the experiences you’ve had by what you’ve done with your business, or your life or your interactions, could we have five minutes, I’d like to learn from you, who wouldn’t like to hear that. But again, if you’re gonna do that, then make sure that you value their time and are prepared. But while that’s, that’s a wonderful way a lot of people are looking to give back. They want to be able to make a difference. And if you’re somebody who sincerely wants to grow and learn, again, you’re opening all kinds of possibility doors, by telling them, you value them and you want to learn from them. I still am learning from people every day. And I’m so thankful for that.

Abby Herman 36:31
And I think as business owners, the general behavior, I guess, of business owners is wanting to grow and learn because that’s what being a business owner is all about. You were growing up learning, as people as humans, as business owners, as leaders every single day.

Kathy Kasten 36:47
So yes, I love that. And it can be really fun to do, you know, givebacks or there are so many ways to do that. It can be with your staff, I one of the first things we did when we had the ice cream parlor. And I use this just as a small example. But we had a couple of people that had worked there before we purchased it. And I said to them, the first day we came in if this were your ice cream parlor, and you could do anything you want with wanted with it, what would you do? And I don’t think anybody had ever asked him that before. And they had a ton of suggestions. And we implemented I think all of them. Well, I can tell you not only did it make the business better, but it also gave me some really loyal employees who were thrilled because somebody actually cared about their input. So eat whether it’s your team or vendors, you know, saying, hey, from the outside, you scale their businesses like mine, what would you see that might be helpful for me to try? Or what’s something you’ve noticed in someone else’s business that’s really been powerful for them. And if an effective now I’m going to talk to you about stealing somebody’s property as far as you know, their mental property or things like that, but just understanding what is it that’s helping them connect? Or what do you see that draws people to them? or What am I missing? That isn’t drawing people to me, it can be really hard to reach out when we’re getting information that tells us we have more room to grow.

Kathy Kasten 38:04
It’s a lot easier to ask people and surround yourself with people that are going to tell you you’re doing great, everything’s wonderful. Right? Yeah, I don’t have anything to add. You’re an amazing person. I don’t know about anybody else. But I’m not perfect. And I have to keep working at it all the time. And so I am learning more and more to appreciate the people who are open and honest enough to share something that they think will help you. If it’s given in a loving way. Don’t walk away from those moments, those can be such a big team game changer for your business. If you’re willing to hear those comments, that’s somebody who says I care about you enough to help you. This goes back to the whole thing about business owners have to grow and learn word growing every day. And COVID is just another example of that, where we have these constant shifts that we have to figure out how to handle as owners business owners.

Abby Herman 38:59
Yeah, I totally agree. Totally agree. You said a lot a few minutes ago that one of your goals is to leave people with something that they can learn and grow from, from every conversation you want. You want to make sure that people can learn and grow from that. So before we sign off, do you have a couple of actionable takeaways that you can give to listeners that they can put into practice right away and to help them be better communicators or to help them connect better with their teams or with their clients or with their networking partners? What kind of takeaways?

Unknown Speaker 39:38
So a couple of things and one of these is gonna sound the first I would say you really want to understand how you are wired. Think about how you communicate, because that helps you to figure out if I live in a certain space, then what do I have to do to change to help reach out to these other spaces that I don’t live in when I work with people We do disc profile assessments, every client I work with has to take one with me, that’s one of the first things I do because that allows me to see where they are comfortable. And then a second thing we do is we’ll do if I’m doing a team will have the whole team taken an assessment, I can do team charts. And boy, I’ll tell you, we have learned some amazing things, seeing those team charts, you may find a company has hired everybody that’s just like them, and the other three-quarters of the globe is totally unpopulated. That’s dangerous for trying to reach out to clients if you have decided to surround yourself with all the same kind of person.

Kathy Kasten 40:34
So looking at the whole mix of people can be really powerful. Sometimes I suggest that clients have their clients take profiles. So that can be really helpful if I’m an interior designer, and I have an understanding of how a person is wired naturally, it can really help me to think about how to design their space, it’s going to be a very different look for somebody who’s outgoing and people-oriented. And for somebody who likes to sit in a back office and work on graphs and charts, they’re going to have very different spaces that they want. So that’s one of the first things I would say is to really understand how you’re wired. And that can be done through an assessment. There’s a lot of them out there. I love this because, in my opinion, it’s the one that helps us to connect the easiest. And most effectively, it’s not all about self-focus, there’s a lot of focus with it about how to deal with other people. But there are a lot of differences in the organizations that offer those. So be careful about the assessments you choose. Some people make them on, you know the day, and put them out as an assessment. So that’s an important one. I think the second thing is always to ask yourself if today were my last day as a business owner, what do I want it to look like?

Kathy Kasten 41:43
I’m a big believer in legacy. And I define that by saying how you live given love every day. It’s one step at a time, one day at a time. So it doesn’t matter whether this is your first day in business, or you have a 20-year business. What difference Do you want to make in the world and make that difference every single day, somehow, it can be a tiny thing. I used to tell the ice cream parlor team, when somebody comes through that door, we don’t know what they’ve had for a day before they come here. So if you have a brick-and-mortar business, a smile can change somebody’s day that doesn’t cost you anything. But it could completely transform the person you’re interacting with. If you’re in an online service type business, that’s still true. If you’re on a zoom call, or you know a phone call, telling somebody that I care about you, that’s too rare. That’s a powerful thing you can do as a give-back right away, that wouldn’t cost you anything. And if you do it sincerely, you’ve added value to somebody say that leaves you more fulfilled and it leaves them really feeling warm and loved. So those are two places I would start I guess is to really understand the language of where you live, and maybe some learning more about where other people live. And then secondarily giving them something every day give. So if it’s your last day in that business because someday we’re all going to plan I do succession planning workshops, we have to at some point, transition. There are different chapters in this chapter of your life right now with where you are and who you serve. What can you do to give them a better day?

Abby Herman 43:17
So powerful. Yes. Thank you so much for being here. This was so uplifting. I loved this conversation. I love conversations around connection and communication. So thank you for that. Can you share with listeners where they can find you online so they can get more of your goodness?

Kathy Kasten 43:40
Sure. Absolutely. I have a website, And I’m also on LinkedIn. And I have a Facebook page for my business and also a personal one. And I do have an Instagram account, but I will just warn everybody I’m new and learning Instagram. So LinkedIn and Facebook are probably better places to find me. Awesome.

Abby Herman 44:03
Thank you so much, Kathy, for being here. I really appreciate your time.

Kathy Kasten 44:08
You’re welcome. Thank you for having me, Abby. This has been fun.

Abby Herman 44:12
Kathy’s takeaways are so good, aren’t they? We do have to understand how we’re wired if we’re going to be able to understand others. Now if you are ready to start experimenting with content and marketing in your own business without having to do all the guesswork yourself. Remember that you can join us inside the content mastery lab, add the content experiment comm slash lab and use the coupon code podcast to get your first month for $1 Pricing starts at just $97 A month after that. If you found value in what you learned here today, be sure to share it on social media. Take a screenshot of the episode on your phone and share it over on Instagram stories. tag me at Abby Herman and the content experiment them You share the more we can get the podcast into the hands of more business owners just like you who need to hear the message that they are not alone. Until next time, take care.

Transcribed by

Listen to the Podcast

Reach Your Audience at Every Stage. Get the Client Journey Ebook Now!

Please enter your name.
Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.

Share on Social Media

More from the Blog

lindsay hope creative
The Antidote to Hustle Culture: Run Your Business on YOUR Terms
Are you running your business in a way that’s sustainable for you...
email list nurturing strategies
Nurturing Your Email List: Strategies for Building Lasting Relationships
As a service-based business owner, you know the importance of building and...
b2b leads social media
Finding B2B Leads on Social Media
I'm always looking for effective ways to generate leads and help clients...
lead magnets for small B2B businesses
Lead Magnets: Attract and Convert Your Ideal Clients
As a small B2B business owner, you know that generating leads is...
Lead Generation Strategies 2024
B2B Lead Generation Strategies for 2024
In the online space, many business owners are struggling to find new...

Pin It on Pinterest